


Better Than Normal

by imthekingoftheocean (im_the_king_of_the_ocean)



Series: Pride Month Ficlets 2K18 [2]
Category: Trollhunters (Cartoon)
Genre: Multi, Trans!Jim, bisexual!Jim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 21:59:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14881985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_the_king_of_the_ocean/pseuds/imthekingoftheocean
Summary: Jim's experiences with his trans and bi identity and then going to Pride.





	Better Than Normal

His name hadn’t always been James Lake Junior and, admittedly, he’d chosen that specific name to feel connected, in a way.There was no Senior.Nor had their ever been.Senior was a myth, a fabrication to make it seem more obvious and normal that there would exist a James Junior.His father’s actual name Jim had long since purposefully forgotten.Why should he care about the man who hadn’t stayed long enough to bother to meet his son?Anyway, the point of Senior was to allow for no one to question the existence of Junior.

Jim’s birth name he’d never tell you.Only two people outside himself actually knew it now, since he’d switched schools (due to bullying) in seventh grade and cut off contact with everyone he knew before Arcadia High.Toby and his mom.Toby never brought it up.His mom had a few times, but apologized for each slip up.It became easier for her when they went about getting his name legally changed.

Someone finding out he was trans was an ever-present worry.One that fueled Jim’s anxiety more than anything.He knew what it was like to not be enough.To be considered other.Weird.Not real.He had never been enough for the kids at his old school.Could never quite pass enough.Not enough for them not to tease him, at least.

So, outside of Toby, Jim didn’t try to make friends at Arcadia High.If he kept to himself, it would keep him out of trouble.If no one notices you, no one can notice the odd little discrepancies here and there that inevitably pop up.Because sometimes Passing every waking moment of his life got exhausting and he just wanted to not bother for two freaking minutes, but it was always those two minutes that something happened or someone _noticed._

The first person to get a clue was Eli Pepperjack, and then he just thought Jim was just gay, like he was.Jim had let Eli carry on his assumptions for a while (until he could determine whether the other boy was safe, or not).That situation didn’t turn out all that bad, with Eli promising not to out him to anyone, and regularly maintaining that promise.

Anyway, once you got past the assumptions based on his perceived skittishness, Eli was actually kind of a cool guy (if a bit paranoid at times) and a pretty decent first boyfriend.Even if his initial attempt at buying a binder for Jim as a gift hadn’t quite gone right.Eli was excellent at online shopping in general, but no so much finding the few good places for binders.It took him three tries and a little help for him to be successful.

They broke up a little after Jim found the Amulet, due to personal differences.Or the fact that Jim was perfectly willing to let Toby in on his new secret, but not Eli.

The next person to know (and the only person from school Jim had flat out told in confidence, back when he was a trusted teacher and advisor) was Strickler, who, despite his many, many, _many_ other faults, never used it against him when they fought as Changeling and Trollhunter.Whether or not Strickler could dead name Jim was a question Jim didn’t honestly know the answer to.On the one hand, he’d been introduced in his history class as Jim.On the other, Strickler did have access to his academic records and since his name hadn’t legally changed until after the transfer to Arcadia High, there was the possibility that Strickler _could_ know.A part of Jim, the part that still couldn’t hate the person who was once one of his favorite teachers, was grateful to Strickler for never going _there_.

The trolls were, by far, the best.To them, a human was a human.They didn’t concern themselves with learning the various differences between genders and never had.They knew Jim as Jim and that was it.

It was easiest, therefore, for Jim to be himself in Trollmarket.He didn’t have to constantly be on alert.At least not for someone rudely questioning him on his gender.For the trolls regularly trying to “test” his mettle by roughing him up or something along those lines?Yes.But that, Jim adjusted to, just as the trolls adjusted to him being their Trollhunter.The more time went on, the less they tried (unless it was in a practice sparring match).

The fact Jim was bisexual came out when he started seeing Claire.He hadn’t really talked about it openly before then, even though he’d known for a while (soon after Toby figured out he himself was pansexual actually).Trying to get people to accept one of his identities was hard enough as it was.Jim figured two was just about impossible.If the person wasn’t either Toby or his mom, who was also queer.

In any case, Jim only came out to Claire.It was sort of relieving when, soon after, she admitted she’d been questioning her own identity for a while (but hadn’t quite figured it out yet).She accepted him and his identity.All of it.She’d smiled at him and told him that’s what made him, well, him.

Jim’s first Pride felt weird to him.He was used to Not Talking About It unless he was safely alone with Claire or Tobes, so being in an open space with pride flags, colors, and swag all around made him feel vulnerable.Open.One hand twitched for the Amulet.To call forth Daylight to protect him.He held in the urge.

Toby wrapped an arm around his shoulders and asked if he was alright.They could leave if he wanted, no problemo.Claire, on his other side, grabbed his hand in her own and squeezed it reassuringly.They could cut down a nearby alley to get away, get home, and maybe watch a movie or something.All he had to do was say the word.

Jim took a deep breath.Looked all around.At the cheerful community all around them.Couples holding hands under rainbow flags.The blue, pink, and white of the trans flag being carried by a large cluster of participants in the parade.Same as a few massive bisexual flags being held high by another group close by. 

It wasn’t a good feeling exactly in his chest.There was a still a lot he wasn’t sure of about.Especially when it came to being out in public.But right then, with the two he loved most by his side, it did feel better than normal.Sort of.

 

 


End file.
